From "Gold Star Father":
The government marker (VA supplied) is (illegally) in my backyard bolted to a flat stone that I found and it lies under a Weeping Willow that friends of my wife gave to her. I make it a point to look at it nearly daily, christen it with splatterings of whatever cocktail I may have in hand, and have a conversation with my son. The marker is mine, its for me. My son's ashes were returned to the sea. The marker is my place to go. It's illegal that I have it, but I know/knew ways to make it happen to be in my possession. I defy the VA cemetery police to come and get it. There will be blood if they show up in my driveway.