You need to tell people you are an architect by the name of Art Vandelay. That's what I tell people rather than saying I am a Soldier. I even once told someone I was a Marine Biologist, that almost got me in big trouble.

Leave it to the Onion. That video was worth the wait.

BTW Starbuck, what's up with your blog? My anti-virus logs your site as "Dangerous"- "Every time you go up you're Dangerous! That's right Iceman I am dangerous."

Pardon this Top Gun interruption, we now return you to your pithy blog conversation.

A. Bacevich likened the response of civilians, bordering on fetishization, to returning veterans to the theological principle of "cheap grace." He was spot on.

By mouthing platitudes and engaging in painfree rituals of gratitude, people can do penance for their sins of omission, i.e. not fighting in the war, or sacrificing for its prosecution, that a majority of them supported. It is also a public marker of one's communal piety, like flying an American flag from one's house, or putting on assorted left or right politically themed bumper stickers.

The veteran fetishization seems dehumanizing, as the poster alluded to. But it could be worse. The demonization of returning soldiers, which I think is another example of people, from a different socio-political tribe, engaging in everyday holier than thou posturing, would be far worse.

Of course, one can be too cynical. There are individual acts of disinterested kindness done by that small portion of the population, whose existance makes up for the rest of us.

with its Veteran's Day comic:

http://terminallance.com/2011/11/11/terminal-lance-veterans-day-dinner/

@wickbam- I love this terminal lance comic, never seen it before tonight, just wasted an hour at work looking through those

As a recently seperated veteran, it does get a little old getting alot of quesitons about the recent conflict, I found it helped to be forthright and share stories with folks I work with, instead of coming off as sullen or self-entitled. There is a lot of self-entitled feeling among milennials particurlarly when it comes to the job search.

Part of the problem is that many of us believe our own and the services hype ...

I am sure you realise that every single person who works in certain jobs gets the exact same sort of questions.

A doctor? Hey, can you give me some free medical advice? Also, let me tell you why vaccines are dangerous.
A lawyer, especially a public defender? Hey, how do you defend guilty people? Do you have no morals? Also, let me tell you whats wrong with the courts today.
Work in a high profile government department? Hey, why isnt the government doing more about this issue? Also, let me tell you why climate change/taxes/sunshinse is a crock.

When you (the general you) meet people initially, you latch onto something that is interesting or different and question that. This allows us to get a foothold into a conversation.

At other times, people simply have no idea what your profession entails except for what they have seen in popular culture and the media. So naturally, they are curious if the expectation meets reality.

You want to get out of it? Tell everyone you are an accountant. Oh wait, then people will ask you to do their taxes for them.

There's nothing to be proud of in the military. The killing business is so 20th century.

As a member of the Canadian Forces moving out to Western Canada the amount of people stopping to talk and thank me while in uniform boggles my mind! Its a big difference from Toronto where a week did not pass that I didn't get the stink eye from some eastern "whatever" young punk or socialist leaning free love type.

Out here, after saying Thank You back, the question I usually ask guys my age is: "Why are you thanking me?"

The overwhelming response: "Because you do something I could never do."

I love being a Reservist because it allows me to keep 90% of my being in the civilian world, while keeping a foot in the military. I view myself as an ambassador to those who know nothing about the military.

I teach grades 5-12. For grades 5-8, I've held an experiential classes-- classes in which teachers offer subjects that are not taught in a traditional classroom. One of my experientials was "An Introduction to Military Culture, Customs and Courtesies." Because the middle school is all boys, the class was a big success. On the first day, I asked how many of the students had grandparents who served. (I teach in a very affluent area of Metro Detroit.) Every hand went up. I then asked how many of the students had parents, uncles or aunts who served. Much fewer hands went up. I then asked how many of the students knew someone who was currently serving. The only student's hand which went up was an African-American who was on scholarship; he lives in Detroit. Since my community is so divorced from armed service, I view it as one of my jobs to help spread understanding. I've had to endure stupid questions, and I've had my fair-share of hero worship. However, this is the price the US Armed Forces must endure if it is committed to an AVF where the focus on recruiting comes from the South and rural Mid West while neglecting urban areas and the North East. (A broad brush, I know.)

I, however, enjoy sharing my experiences. I enjoy teaching others the diversity of the Army. I enjoy displaying that a Latin teacher who graduated form a small liberal-arts college--one who, GASP, voted for President Obama--can too join the Army. I believe that I, and all Reservists, can help break down the stereotypes; however, we have to be willing to share our expriences and educate!

I am sure you realise that every single person who works in certain jobs gets the exact same sort of questions.
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I have been working in Iraq and Afghanistan as a civilian since 2004. That's right, almost 8 years. I love to talk about my experiences over here. I am proud to be part of this mission, and to have helped to bring about a peaceful Iraq. I am now working to help bring peace to Afghanistan.

I respect and admire all of our uniformed services, and our veterans. I am a veteran myself, US Air Force 1973-1978.

@CEMAB4Y - agreed. There have been a lot of posts like this lately, lamenting how difficult or annoying it is to interact with 'civilians.' It's not a good trend, and it widens the civilian-military divide. In my opinion, it's important for veterans to talk about their service, especially with civilians in order to assist with their own adjustment. Every opportunity a service member or veteran gets to interact with a civilian is one to be an ambassador of the service, and to combat any stereotypes that are out there.

I wrote about the important of talking about military service at Small Wars Journal: http://smallwarsjournal.com/blog/the-importance-of-“serious-talk”-for-readjusting-veterans

I think anything that bridges the gap between civilians and the military is a good thing, though I can appreciate that it must be hard for servicemen and women to put up with all the questions sometimes.

I can't speak for real life, but the impression I get from the internet is that there is still a strong vein of contempt for the military even decades after we were supposed to have moved on from all that. "Mindless puppets of the military-industrial complex" was the epithet that stood out most in my mind, and it left me reeling in disgust for the state of America if this is what people really think.

Honestly, that kind of talk has made me, in some perverse kind of way, seriously consider joining up. Everyone can and should do their civic duty in some way.

Reading this blog and its discussions gave me a big push to drop an OCS packet. I ship out in January.

Military-civilian relations are of extreme importance for both sectors of our society.
They are one of the pillars of our democracy. I therefore consider it an obligation to respond to any queries and explain any misconception no matter how trivial or annoying it may seem. Just because the military has been riding on a wave of public support and admiration, we cannot assume that public opinion will always be this favorable. One only needs to observe the current political debate to realize that the average civilian's priority is the economy.
To interact with civilians is now more important then ever, considering that only 1% of Americans have served during the recent conflicts and BRAC continues to isolate the military from the people we have sworn to protect. Considering this, it is hardly fair to blame civilians for not understanding our culture and our concerns. It does not matter how silly or misinformed civilians may sound to us and it does not matter how we don't feel like engaging in another conversation about PTSD or related issues. It's our duty and responsibility as members of the military. That is true for us currently in the service as well as for the veterans who have come before us.
We should remember that we signed up to serve the people of this country and it is the taxpayer who pays our salary. We should be grateful when questions are asked and when we are given the opportunity to clear up misconceptions. Lets not miss any opportunity to reduce the growing gulf between us. Let's not wait until the civilian sector does not ask any questions anymore, because they simply don't care about the well being of their military.

I have felt uneasy about America's role overseas since returning home, having served three tours in Viet Nam. First and foremost the men and women who actively serve in the military are to be honored for their performance. This is their job, they are not asked but forced to fight in a war zone (although in my opinion we've not had a war since WW II) chosen by civilian counterparts, for reasons which we may never understand (some frivulous). Unlike the politicians in Washington who exclude themselves from the rule of law, our military personnel are governed by the UCMJ, they are the true patriots of this nation and as such deserve additional entitlements in the form of; education, housing, retirements (having reached a specific age) which exceed those given to welfare recipients, and healthcare at a reasonable cost.

The men and women (post and present) now serving in Washington should be accountable for their actions, they should not be exempt from the rule of law, their benefits for having served should not be any different from those of a civilian, they will draw their retirements from social security and share the same healthcare benefits given to the men and women of America. There should be no "special interest groups" who have special retirements, healthcare provisions, etc., this includes all unions, federal, state, and county workers. They will put aside and draw from a 401K just like everyone else. Our politicians have squandered the money within the social security system and now would like to blame this on others, these politicians should be imprisoned for these acts.

Does anyone have any idea how we can straighten out America with going to civil war? I'd like to hear from you.

I'm a marine reservist. I'm pretty proud of it, but don't really discuss it. From the perspective of anyone else who has served, what I do is ordinary, not very exciting or dangerous and somewhat important (I'm in comm.) That's fine with me. I come from an immigrant background (I was already a citizen prior to enlistment) so doing this was pretty important to me personally to feel more like an American.

I feel hollow when people thank me for my service, since I have never been in danger, so I tell myself I'm accepting their thanks on behalf of those who have. I have long stopped believing I am acting on behalf of "national defense." There is very little that is defensive about what the US military in general and USMC in particular do. The US military does not exist do defend the territorial integrity of the US in the way the South Korean military does. It is an expeditionary force. It is meant to fight overseas.

I've accepted that rather than national defense, I am serving on behalf of national prestige. This is fine by me. In the reptile part of my brain I am glad the US is so powerful and I would hate to see it get humiliated.

I think a big difficulty in talking about "it", whatever it is, is that civilians usually open the conversation so awkwardly.
-how was it over there....hmm, how do you answer that question when you went through all four seasons, probably went through the inferno known as Kuwait, and experiences are so diverse. A tour is not just combat, there's mid-tour leave, entry and exit into theater, all the gear issue and turn-in, the evolution of TTPs and daily battle rhythms, changes in the enemy, possible changes of AO etc etc. Just so many things take place that it seems almost impossible to give a response to that question.
-what did you do over there...well, yet another very long answer for a lot of people, mainly because the answer usually isn't as simple as "I walked around Baghdad with a gun"
-do you have trouble sleeping....thanks for reminding me, say do you have some Benadryl?
-did you lose anyone over there....is that really appropriate to ask a stranger? How do you answer that?
-what do you think of the taliban/sadr/iran (just add a famous word from the middle east)...very few service members sat down to drink tea with sadr, or the taliban or the quds forces; but virtually all us sat down for tea with those that sympathize to those forces and people we suspected of having some sort of connection to them, but again, that stuff is so varied and most of us had so many experiences related to that, so a concise answer is really difficult
-was it really crazy over there....that's a relative term but 90% of your time is not "crazy", about 50% preparing for the "crazy" stufff, 25% recovering from it, and 25% relative down time; at least that's my rough break down. If you tell someone that, it comes off like you're trying to shut down the conversation. You get the "oh you just want me to shut up" look, then I feel bad, as if I was rude the person.

I guess in the end I really struggle trying to provide a concise and accurate answer. Most us just didn't have simple jobs over there. A lot of variables, a lot of changes, too much to encapsulate in casual conversation. Also, I don't really want to tell strangers that my heart skipped a beat and is now jumping through my chest because that little white car got too close to me on the road making me think it was a suicide bomber, or that the large truck coming down the road packed with barrels is really freaking me out until I remind myself that I'm back in the US, or that I really want to bash the head of that guy over there because his body language is not right - all normal reactions in theater, but in the US it makes people think you have PTSD, although some acclimation is normal.

I don't know...everything is just very awkward and seems to lead to misunderstandings and the effusive praise is very difficult. A 'welcome home' is plenty good.

As a Veteran of a couple trips to Iraq and College in DC, I know how frustrating and even anger inducing the trivial questions can be. That said, I would take the opposite track to the author. Instead of recoiling from explaining the military or your military service, I would at least acknowledge that, however naïve, an American has taken a fleeting interest in their military. Take the chance to explain to people what a day was like for you overseas or show that everyone in the military doesn’t have PTSD. Veterans and Service Members do the larger cause of America relating to its Armed Forces, especially in a time of war, a disservice if we recoil from our responsibility to represent the military. You don’t have to be an entitled jerk, a real issue I agree, but a level headed discussion with a curious civilian will dispel myths and improve the image of the Armed Forces.