Pure tragedy and much sympathy for her loss. Time and poetry might relieve some of the pain. I’m not sure about the effects of social-networking. Is it wise or efficacious to share such personal feelings in the public domain? Am I alone in thinking that such intimate thoughts ought to remain private and unpublished? Perhaps I’m wrong, and such sentiments will help remind Americans of the horror of war and transform this country’s militaristic tendencies.

We honor it in our soldiers; we need to honor it with the wives and widows. It makes no matter that this Marine and his lady chose to marry young.The 3/5 Marines knew they were going to step into a shit sandwich; I certainly respect this couple for the short amount of time they had marital bliss before he deployed.
I have seen far too many young, beautiful twenty-something wives with their battle broken husbands. I have seen far too many widows pining for time to go backwards. Mrs. Wades expresses emotions that only those who have lived it understand fully. For her to put her life out to The World is a courageous deed. She asks for nothing special really, just to be part of life again.
I confess, former Marine me, but a 55 year old father, I didn't have a single day without tears until I lived about 2 1/2 years after my own Marine KIA loss. Mrs. Wade is one strong lady, though I suspect still in shock.
This pain needs to be told. This is a story that needs to be forefront. Yes Rayfin3, if we don't remind Americans of the aftermath of our political and military actions, we as a people suffer from the choking apathy. We cannot truely comprehend our actions if we don't fully know the consequences.
I have been a bleeding heart far too many times in with my posts on this blog, I know. I will probably continue my story line until I die, for I'm hardly satisfied that the people of this great country have a clue about anything outside their own little bubbles. Great decisions have been made and are being made far removed from the essentials of an informed people.

To those of you who have an "opinion," everyone deals with grief their own way. Whether it be to post blogs for all to read or shut down completely, only that person knows what is best for them and what you may think is too intimate to share, may actually become a story that will change people's lives. And as far as getting married young, when you are in love with someone in the military and want to get married, sometimes the only time available is to do it before a deployment. Their schedules are so rigorous, that if you wait for something to happen or be the right time, it never will. You have to take the opportunities you are given. Until any of us are in the same situation as losing a spouse, no one can say what they would or would not do.

for our 10+ years of war.

Consider the flamboyant coverage of the mother who murdered her children recently - an obviously mentally ill person - as her husband is serving in Iraq.

Most suffering families though, just suffer in private.

Mrs. Wade has done us all an immense service in expressing her feelings and her story in her blog. It is important for all of us to understand the true costs of war, and she has done so very eloquently. As GSF wrote, this is a story that Americans need to hear.

I feel that her story in Tom's blog may be a situation of preaching to the choir- many, if not most, of the readers have at least a sense of the cruel and brutal costs of war. Mrs. Wade''s blog movingly describes the loss of her husband and its effect on her. Nobody can read it without being moved.

On a day when people like John Bolton are advocating starting yet another war (he is now using the situation in Egypt as a pretext for bombing Iran), it is vital that we pause and read stories like this. If only the Cheneys, Rumfelds, Wolfowitz's and their ilk would read this blog and her story.

Mrs. Wade's blog has done something else that should bring comfort to her- her husband's story and sacrifice have become known to countless readers who never would have known. She has ensured that he won't be forgotten.

Mrs. Wade has done us all an immense service in expressing her feelings and her story in her blog. It is important for all of us to understand the true costs of war, and she has done so very eloquently. As GSF wrote, this is a story that Americans need to hear.

I feel that her story in Tom's blog may be a situation of preaching to the choir- many, if not most, of the readers have at least a sense of the cruel and brutal costs of war. Mrs. Wade''s blog movingly describes the loss of her husband and its effect on her. Nobody can read it without being moved.

On a day when people like John Bolton are advocating starting yet another war (he is now using the situation in Egypt as a pretext for bombing Iran), it is vital that we pause and read stories like this. If only the Cheneys, Rumfelds, Wolfowitz's and their ilk would read this blog and her story.

Mrs. Wade's blog has done something else that should bring comfort to her- her husband's story and sacrifice have become known to countless readers who never would have known. She has ensured that he won't be forgotten.

So as sad as this story truly is, where is there any mention of his parents? He does have a mother and a father doesn't he? I would think true mourning and sadness would have somewhere in all the blogging mentioned how his family is coping especially since they were married such a short time. My heart breaks for the entire family. As most military families I know it's usually the parents that are by the soldier's side from the first day and not once is his family mentioned. It just seems sad. It would be my hope that they aren't being forgotten as they do have more time vested in his life (not to minimize her time with him). Much comfort and peace is prayed on this family.

I'm Chad's mom and I'm also the "bonus mom" of all the guys serving over there now in Chad's company. I know my son loved Katie with all his heart and she loves him. Yes, they may have gotten married quickly by most peoples' standards, but they also spent over 9 months talking and writing to get to know one another. I basically spent more time with Katie before they got married than Chad was able to, but that doesn't mean they loved each other any less. It hurts my heart to see so many people judge her when they don't know the situation. I too blog! Sometimes it's easier to blog or journal feelings than to talk about them. I know for me it is. This is a tragic situation and one no one expected or wanted, but it is what it is. We have been dealt a hand that we were not truly prepared for (not that you can prepare). You all have the right to your opinion, just as Katie does. The only thing I would caution is before you throw stones remember that you don't know what kind of situation in life you may find yourself in one day or how you would act or handle it and I would hope that you don't have to feel you have to explain or justify yourself to others you don't know. Now if you have a personal experience with Katie that you can speak from experience that might be one thing, but if you are a total stranger and you just feel the need to criticize someone, please chose someone that isn't having to cope with the death of a spouse or in my case, my only child. Shame on you if you can't be a bit more sympathetic to someone grieving. There is no right or wrong way to grieve and there is no manual out there to give you step by step instructions. She may be 20, but death/grief is no respector of age, person, or title. My son was only 22 1/2 when he lost his life. I say that is way too young to die, but it happened. Katie, I love you and I know Chad loved you. A momma just knows things like that and I think you need to grieve the best way that works for you and don't let anyone out there cause you to change who you are. Love, mom

Reading the above comments made me want to write one myself. I too have had a loss. So I PRAISE the above "Quietly" remembering the FAMILY, the Mother the Father... NOT ONCE have I seen Mrs. Wade mention the loss of this Solider's Family... Those that knew and loved him for 22years. The pain they must feel everyday. For me I have lost a child close to this soldiers age and I can tell you there are NO words to ever describe the pain of loosing a child. You feel empty and will for the rest of your life. It has be1n 11 years since I lost my child and today is as hadr as the first day. Sure you get by becuase you have to, you really have no other choice but in reality you want to crawl inside a hole where you do not have to pretend your ok, pretend you don't have regret, pretend your heart is not broken, where you don't have to put on that smile everyday. You don't want to shop (for sure) you don't want to attend church because your angry, you don't want to go on with the rest of your life and NOTHING anyone can say or do can take this tremendous pain away not now not ever. My tue Heros are OF COURSE our soldiers but the momma's out there that do go on that try to make a difference, that understand everyone elses pain and loss before thier own. Shame on all of you for all the focus on just one person. My heart goes out to Mrs. Wade, the good thing is she is young, she will re-marry and have children of her own. I pray everyday for her strength. I feel like most feel according to these blogs is that MOST of the time true sorrow is not dished to the public for the world to see, why not blog about what you trully have learned and not beat people up because they too miss certain people in thier life or complain about daily crap, we all have our OWN pain and it has been judged by those of you telling us you don't judge and the by all means greive the way that you need to but don't put others down because they don't know how you feel you should love them even more now because you don't want them to feel your sorrow. Mommabear I commend you, not many people could step up and love beyone mention and not dwell on your own pain, for I know that you have a huge empty hole in your heart that will Never mend. You will find strength and days will get easier to FAKE, but don't forget about your OWN feelings and how you may need to deal with your pain. You can't be everything to everyone you need to be true to yourself, and the FAMILY that loved your son... Like I said above EVERYONE does have that right!!! So if you too don't want to hear what people really feel then DON"T you read it either. Love for all of you that knew and loved this young man. For death is saddness that never goes away.

Git em' mommabear! And Katie's story/blog is about Her life with HER husband, She isn't writing to speak for the rest of his family, she writes to say what SHE feels.

Thanks to all of you, especially TheMrs. and MommaBear. Lots to think about here.
Best,
Tom

But let me just say, as a guy in his mid-50s but who has lots of interaction with teens and 20-somethings, we just have to accept that they live in a different world, with different assumptions about propriety.

One of my students, who's younger brother was tragically killed, posted it in her Facebook status that very night.

And why not? Why wouldn't you share such information? Does it mean you're cavalier about it or untouched? Of course not.

For those of us raised in the pre-internet age, it's hard to grasp how utterly natural it is for these folks to get it out there in the venues they've established as theirs. It's not in any way in a spirit of self-display. It's a confession to a group of friends and listeners-in.

Some people will be rude and weird and unworthy of reading it, but that's just part of the environment a 20 year-old has lived in all their conscious lives.

As I read this, I feel compelled to express my thougts, my heart goes to the MOTHER and family, she lost her only son! Thank you Chad for everything you were and for being our Hero! I'm not putting the widow down, everyone grieves they way they wish, I just get a bit disgusted when I see that one it's being said, and doing the opposite of grieving, so therefore I am bias. LIke the saying goes, the truth shall set you free, sooner or later! God bless all the armed forces protecting us and sacrificing their lives...