Best Defense special caption contest!

Posted By Thomas E. Ricks Friday, December 3, 2010 - 2:22 PM Share

Here is a photograph of President Obama and General Petraeus in Afghanistan today. Best caption sent in by  9 am Monday wins a signed copy of my book The Gamble.

Best caption I've heard so far:

Mr. President, here is my impression of you pushing Stan McChrystal over a cliff!"

Got a better one? Post away. 

JIM WATSON/AFP/Getty Images

 

TOM RICKS

7:23 PM ET

December 3, 2010

And this just came in by e-mail

“Now I’d like to introduce my running mate for Campaign 2012, the next Vice President of the United States, Barack Obama!”

 

BALANCE

2:39 AM ET

December 6, 2010

In conclusion...

A few words before I begin the process of transitioning the podium to President Obama. My actual conclusion will, of course, be based on conditions on the ground. Your grandchildren may or may not be in the audience at that point.

 

EHAWKWOOD

7:34 PM ET

December 3, 2010

Best Defense Special Caption

"What, after fixing our mess in Afghanistan you want me to fix our $14B debt???"

 

WILLPATE

7:34 PM ET

December 3, 2010

Caption

Mr. President,

This is a BIG f---ing deal.

 

ANON

7:37 PM ET

December 3, 2010

CAPTION

"I'd like to dispel the rumor that the man to my right is actually the next Taliban negotiator............ Well actually we thought he might be, but we checked his birth certificate first."

 

TOM RICKS

7:41 PM ET

December 3, 2010

Another anonymous one

Obama to Petraeus: “Dave, you know I love your W. impression, but I’ve only got three hours here…”

 

KINSHANE

8:05 PM ET

December 3, 2010

My contribution is similar,

My contribution is similar, so feel free to not consider it for the award:

"People ask if I'm running in 2012 and I tell them: Not Gonna Doit!"

 

ASTONISHED VAG

7:44 PM ET

December 3, 2010

More an exchange

General Patreaus: "Mr. President, have you lost weight?"

President Obama: "Can you tell? I'm down a pant size."

General Patreaus: Chuckle. "I noticed. I swear the last time I saw you, your behind was this ... oh."

I freely admit that I am female.

 

RON CAPPS

7:44 PM ET

December 3, 2010

"Now you know that I didn't

"Now you know that I didn't vote for him in 2008. But that's OK, 'cause he's already told me he won't vote for me in 2012."

 

MATTHEW RIDENHOUR

8:03 PM ET

December 3, 2010

Best Defense Caption

"And then I was like, 'WikiLeak THIS, Assange!'"

 

GOLD STAR FATHER

8:14 PM ET

December 3, 2010

Caption

"So, I bet Mullen that I could get the President over here in less than 24 hours. All I have to do is announce I need another 40,000".

 

RICEANDBEANS

8:15 PM ET

December 3, 2010

Caption

"My name’s Dave Petraeus and I am a motivational speaker! I’m 58 years old and I live in a FOB down by the river!"

 

MESPARZA

8:16 PM ET

December 3, 2010

Caption

"Hold your horses! Ever seen a one eyed elephant?!"

 

ATLAS_HUGGED

8:21 PM ET

December 3, 2010

Caption

Yo, Mr. President, I'mma let you finish, but Gen. Zinni could have been one of the best ambassadors to Iraq of all time! One of the best of all time!

 

HUNTER

8:23 PM ET

December 3, 2010

Curses

Beaten by one lousy minute.

 

PATRICK.CONWAY@YAHOO.COM

8:22 PM ET

December 3, 2010

Best Defense Caption

After repeated suggestions from the President, General Petraeus finally gave in and performed his impression of Jon Stewart's impression of George W. Bush.

 

PATRICK.CONWAY@YAHOO.COM

8:26 PM ET

December 3, 2010

D'oh!

I just saw that Tom posted a caption about 45 minutes ago with similar content. I swear I didn't steal it!

 

HUNTER

8:22 PM ET

December 3, 2010

Oh this is too easy

Obama to Petraeus:

Imma Let You Finish, but the British in Malaya had one of the best Counter-Insurgencies of all time.

[Sincere apologies for dragging that dead internet meme out twice in one week]

 

RBUROS

8:23 PM ET

December 3, 2010

He's still a hero

"The Army's position on DADT? It's not gay unless you push ba--hey!"

 

JIM GOURLEY

8:27 PM ET

December 3, 2010

Channeling Don Knotts...

"This is why you're effing with the wrong guy! Hiyah! Did you see how fast those hands came up? Karate, buddy. Turned my whole body into a weapon! These two hands are hard as steel!"

 

ANTIMKO

8:34 PM ET

December 3, 2010

Jon Stewart's George Bush impression "I'm the decider, hehehehe"

.

 

ZMMETZGER

8:39 PM ET

December 3, 2010

How long?

I promise you, Mr. President, we will be in Afghanistan only THIS long.

 

DOFLYNN

8:43 PM ET

December 3, 2010

Caption competition

General P: So, Joe Biden walks into a bar.....

 

IF-U-AIN'T-CAV....

8:44 PM ET

December 3, 2010

Best Defense Caption

Petraeus.....So I was like, were still at war in Afghanistan...been there like ten years now, And John Q. Public was like......For real? I checked out on that one. Tora Bora, more like Tora Bor-ing.....I got a yellow ribbon on my car though...support the troops and all that.

 

TOMKENWORTHY

8:53 PM ET

December 3, 2010

caption contest

"Mr. President, why is it when you sit down at the poker table you push all your chips over to your opponent and say 'Now, let's play.'"

 

TOM RICKS

8:53 PM ET

December 3, 2010

And more anonymous contributions

"But wait, there's more: I'll throw in an extra troop surge absolutely free! Just pay shipping and handling."

 

CONORMANNIX

9:01 PM ET

December 3, 2010

Petraeus Bros. Broadcasting

"Be vewy vewy qwiet... we're hunting insurgents."

 

DRSTUPID

9:24 PM ET

December 3, 2010

+1

I was gonna say something along the line of "so long, suckers", but this one takes the cake. It summarizes all that is wrong about the initial approach in Afghanistan; taking it like a hunting trip, but not unlike Elmer Fudd, constantly striking out.

 

DRIFTER83

5:00 PM ET

December 4, 2010

+1

Gets my vote too

 

ADMIRAL

9:12 PM ET

December 3, 2010

“You have to recognize also

“You have to recognize also that I don’t think you win this war"

"I told my that the administration was “Fucking with the wrong guy.”

 

SWOLFSON6

9:17 PM ET

December 3, 2010

Caption Contest

So, I finally got my desk at CENTCOM all fixed the way I want it, got my feet up ya know, just relaxin', and the President calls me. He says, "So, Dave, how ya settlin' in down there?"

 

IANC

9:35 PM ET

December 3, 2010

What's the Hurry?

Slow it dowwwn Mr. President, July 2011 is too soooon.

 

DMENDELS

9:40 PM ET

December 3, 2010

WC 2022

"Stop. Wait just one minute. Qatar out bid the US for the World Cup. Qatar?Did we send the same negotiators to FIFA that we used with the Taliban? Well, at least its Mattis' problem now."

 

RUBBER DUCKY

10:29 PM ET

December 3, 2010

St. David:

"Lemme tell you about this COIN stuff. Wowser!"

 

INTEL GEEK

10:52 PM ET

December 3, 2010

"No shit, there I was about

"No shit, there I was about to recommend 30,000 more troops when twenty, no, fifty White House staffers jumped out of nowhere..."

 

NORWEGIAN SHOOTER

11:12 PM ET

December 3, 2010

"Supplies!"

http://www.2bone.com/humr/h15/15_10.shtml

 

CHAMP19

11:24 PM ET

December 3, 2010

Caption

"Lissen Up. There I was thirty thousand feet..........."

 

MARKUS PFISTER

11:31 PM ET

December 3, 2010

Caption Comp

That's nothing, Mr President. I once caught a Taliban that was...this...big... but you should have seen the one that got away!

 

HERC6

11:32 PM ET

December 3, 2010

caption

"Hey, I just noticed somethin'--this podium is a perfect fit!"

 

TACOROCCO

12:06 AM ET

December 4, 2010

Caption

"Ok, Ok. I'll do my best Bush impression."

 

WALLAMAARIF

12:54 AM ET

December 4, 2010

caption

Watch closely to see what happens when a resistable force meets a moveable object...

 

KATGIRL

1:21 AM ET

December 4, 2010

caption

"So Holly says, " give up my waterfront house so you can go to Afghanistan?" and that's how the fight started....."

 

KATGIRL

1:23 AM ET

December 4, 2010

oops...sorry about the double

oops...sorry about the double post....

 

KATGIRL

1:23 AM ET

December 4, 2010

caption

"So then Holly goes, " you want me to give up my waterfront house so you can go to Afghanistan?" ...And THAT's how the fight started..."

 

KATGIRL

1:27 AM ET

December 4, 2010

caption

"and see Mr. President? if you put your hands up just like this, ok? Then the next time the guy won't be able to bust your lip with his elbow..."

 

WALKING WOUNDED

2:25 AM ET

December 4, 2010

'Walk this way, master...'

or

'I can do something about that hum on your back.'
'What hump?'

 

WALKING WOUNDED

2:25 AM ET

December 4, 2010

'Walk this way, master...'

or

'I can do something about that hump on your back.'
'What hump?'

 

LIFER

2:29 AM ET

December 4, 2010

Apocalypse Redone Dialogue

"So I walk into Karzai's office and he's sprawled behind his desk, eyes bloodshot, and he asks me, 'I expected someone like you. What did you expect? Are you an assassin?'

I go, 'Whoa! Whoa! I'm a soldier.'"

He lurches forward, fixes that idiotic hat of his, and says, "You're neither. You're Obama's errand boy, sent by pissed off Treasury clerks, to collect a $371 Billion dollar bill."

 

SCHUSTDJ

3:49 AM ET

December 4, 2010

Caption

"And that's when I told W, 'You just fell victim to one of the classic blunders: Never get involved in a land war in Asia...'"

 

FAOINTNG

4:16 AM ET

December 4, 2010

Anybody up for a push up

Anybody up for a push up contest?

 

Thomas E. Ricks covered the U.S. military for the Washington Post from 2000 through 2008.

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